Unlatched by Jennifer Grayson

Posted 28 September, 2016 by Trish in Mommyhood, Reading Nook, Review / 9 Comments

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Unlatched cover by jennifer grayson

 

Title: Unlatched: The Evolution of Breastfeeding and the Making of a Controversy
Author: Jennifer Grayson
Published: 2016 Pages: 336 | Genre: Nonfiction
Rating: Breastfeeding. It’s complicated!

On Amazon | On Indiebound | On Goodreads

My sister asked me the other day at what age I thought it was inappropriate for a child to still be nursing. Had I not just finished Unlatched, I don’t know what my answer would have been. The short answer I gave her was “I don’t know…it’s complicated!”

And that’s what makes Unlatched such an interesting read. Grayson goes into some of the history of breastfeeding and how views of breastfeeding have changed over the past century. These days it feels taboo to discuss breastfeeding, depending on the audience, and it certainly isn’t something that most women choose to do in public, despite it being the most natural way to feed an infant. How did breastfeeding become such a source of controversy? Why are mommies at war with one another over breastfeeding versus formula feeding?

I read Unlatched mostly while I breastfed my 8 month old babe or while I pumped breastmilk at work, because that’s when I get much of my reading in these days. Even though I am a breastfeeding mom, I had many conflicted thoughts while reading this book and at the beginning was incredibly turned off by Grayson’s tone and point of view. I mean, the second chapter of the book is entitled “What Would Baby Jesus Drink?” Cue the eyerolling. I formula-fed my first baby and felt so much guilt over it and it is very clear that Grayson is very pro-breastfeeding (she weaned her oldest at four years).

The breadth of the book is quite expansive and at times I felt like it was a little too wide. She covers breastfeeding in ancient times through the Industrial Revolution. She gives a lot of focus to when mothers began working outside of the home in the 1800s and the great effect this had on breastfeeding in the 1900s. She talks about the advent of formula and how formula marketing has played such a large role in breastfeeding and its public perception. She talks about the Women Infant Children program and the government involvement with formula companies and WIC.

Grayson also talks about the benefits of breastfeeding as well as some of the mysteries, but this is where I wanted more information. She dropped a bomb in my lap that breastmilk is actually a tissue. What the what? What does this even mean? She doesn’t expand and I couldn’t find any information online. She strongly believes that if more babies were breastfed that our national health would increase as a whole. But is there that much research to substantiate this huge claim? She didn’t convince me.

There’s SO MUCH. SO MUCH. There’s the idea that breastfeeding is now something that is tied to privilege–if you can stay at home with your child then yay for you. But this also assumes that you’re able to nurse with other littles around. Or that you have the flexibility and support system. Or that it comes easy to you. Breastfeeding is hard!

Which then leads into the discussion of how breastfeeding is handled in hospitals. My own experiences between my first and second baby were very different. No one mentioned putting the baby to my breast right after I had her the first time around–I had to ask the nurses when I should start trying to feed her. Rooming arrangements were also different between the first and third. With my first, she was only brought into my room to nurse. By my third baby, she never left my side for one second during our entire stay in the hospital. The presence (or lack) of formula, pacifiers, and lactation consultants varied each time.

She talks about how the women in 18th century France shipped off their babies to farms to be breastfed by others. Or the “mass infanticide” that occurred in Britain and Ireland when babies were not breastfed by their mothers (what?!). She talks about how the normal breastfeeding range is 2-7 years. Though I’m not sure exactly where this is happening. She talks about pumping and how the return to work is affecting our babies. Of course this also goes hand in hand with maternity leave–or the lack of it. This third time around, I’m lucky to work the hours that I do around breastfeeding and pumping. I know from my first corporate job that this is rarely the case for working mothers.

So yes, in many ways I really connected with Unlatched and it was a read that I found compelling. But the delivery of Grayson’s message was often tough to swallow. I spent the first half of the book exasperated with the way that she was trying to sell breastfeeding. Additionally, the first couple of chapters in the book felt unorganized and the information seemed conflicting. Grayson made a lot of claims but it wasn’t always clear whether these claims were founded in actual research or supposition.

The second half of the book was much more polished and felt more relevant to the conversations we need to be having about breastfeeding–how formula companies have evolved and how more research can be done to uncover some of the mysteries of breastmilk. These articles from around the web are snippets from the book if you’d like to get a taste of the writing style and content. ‘The World’s Oldest Profession’ Might Not Be What You ThinkIs It Time To Stop Talking About The Benefits Of Breastfeeding?Breast milk is best and free, so why is it a luxury for American moms?

I know, I know, this post is already a 1,000 words long…likely the longest book post I’ve written (not to mention the essay I wrote on my own breastfeeding journey), but here are a few of the passages I highlighted throughout the book (and there were many).

“But the truth is that while the rooting and sucking reflexes are hardwired in a baby, a mother’s knowledge of how to breastfeed is not. For humans and members of the larger primate order to which we belong, that knowledge is culturally based and it is largely learned” (loc 234). But then “…for thousands, perhaps millions, of years of human history, breastfeeding was a natural, intuitive experience that all Homo sapiens and previous human ancestors had shared and knew intimately” (loc 271).

“The federal government’s Women, Infants, and Children program, also known as WIC (which provides supplemental foods as well as health assistance to low-income pregnant women, new mothers, infants, and children under the age of five), buys and distributes more than half of all the infant formula sold in the United States every year, making the US government the formula manufacturers’ biggest customer” (loc 347).

“And many soon came to see formula as preferable in an era when doctors believed that breastfeeding could only be successful under ideal conditions: if the mother had ample daily exercise; if she drank prescribed quantities of water; if she followed a plain diet; if she abstained from tea, coffee, and alcohol; if she wasn’t stressed in any way. The bottle, unlike the breast, was predictable and measurable” (loc 1439).

“Yet here’s the crux of the problem: in a culture where both men and women automatically think sex when they see a naked breast, it is a real challenge for a mother to whip out one of those sexually loaded things every time she needs to feed her kid” (loc 2623).

“But maybe we should stop talking about the benefits of breastfeeding and instead start considering the risks of not breastfeeding, since I’m certainly not fine. Are you fine? Are we—an overweight nation of chronically ill, medicine-dependent formula feeders—fine?” (loc 3637…Grayson was formula fed as an infant).

“But in the United States, we’ve championed pumping to the exclusion of giving a new mother the time to bond with her newborn, by packing her off to work with a health care–sponsored breast pump and zero paid maternity leave” (loc 3856).

 

Bottom Line: Whew. I still have so many more thoughts and the more I think about it, the more the breastfeeding question continues to complicate itself in my mind. Do I wish that more mothers would consider breastfeeding their babies? Yes–absolutely! Do I think that mothers should feel less guilt over not being able to breastfeed? Yes–absolutely! It’s not clear-cut for me. I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Is this a book for everyone? No. Is it a perfect piece of journalism? No–I think Grayson’s book is flawed in many ways. But I do think that as uncomfortable this conversation is to have, we should be talking about breastfeeding more than we are.

 

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Assigned Kiddo Reading Time

Posted 25 September, 2016 by Trish in Mommyhood, Reading Nook / 20 Comments

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Happy Sunday!

Here we are a month into Kindergarten. Can you believe it? This past week it was college week at school and so I explained that when Elle turned 18 and finished high school she would/could go to college. She cried that she didn’t want to go to college and leave home. Me either baby girl. Me either. Thankfully we don’t have to think about that for many more years! But yes I know…it’ll be here before I know it. Sob.

While Elle hasn’t come home with any homework from school yet, her teacher has asked that parents read to the kiddos 20 minutes each day. Reading books before bedtime has long been routine for us, but it rarely equates to 20 minutes and I’m usually putting the baby down while Scott reads to the bigger girls. I miss having that reading time in bed with them.

One of the benefits of being able to pick Elle up from school and have some alone time with her before getting her sisters is having built in reading time. While some days this does feel more like a chore, I’m trying to keep things fun and light and not go too much into my teacher mode to try and make this time about learning.

This is a struggle for me because I worry. It’s difficult not to compare to other kiddos who are already reading a bit and have a good handle on sight words. We’re still trying to keep individual letters straight. The past four weeks have shown great improvement but I do wonder if I’ll eventually be researching dyslexia, which is hereditary. And then I take a billion deep breaths and remind myself that we are only four weeks into kindergarten.

Mama never stops worrying. For better or worse.

But! I’ve been trying to make the most of our reading time together and have been having a lot of fun with it. Last week I read a Book Riot article from Raych about Tiny Ladies Doing Shit and put ALLLLLL the books on hold at the library. We are making our way through Hamster Princess: Harriet the Invincible right now and I’m loving it. I think most of the jokes are going over Elle’s head, but this take on Sleeping Beauty is just too much fun.

Harriet the Invincible is our first chapter book and I’m hoping I can use it to leap into some of the other books I’ve been wanting to read. Short attention spans and glazed over eyes is still a problem at this age, but 20 minutes a day seems to be the perfect amount of time.

My hope is that I can sneak in Alice in Wonderland next. Maybe the Little House on the Prairie books. Can you believe I’ve never read The Secret Garden?! Honestly, I feel like I’m a poor gauge of what is appropriate for a five year old–should I be sticking to easier books or go ahead and read some of the more advanced ones to her?

We’ll figure it out, I’m sure. In the meantime, I’m soaking up those extra snuggles with someone who is growing much too quickly. I’ve always loved these quieter and slower times with my girls.

Do you have memories of “reading” longer books when you were little? At what age did you start reading longer books with littles in your life?

 

hearts

 

Books Recently Finished: Since my last Sunday post, I skimmed the rest of Total Money Makeover and counted it finished. If you skim through a book but got 100% of the gist, do you count it toward your annual tally? I also finished What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty and really enjoyed it.

New Books in the House: Celebrate Everything by Jenny Rosenstrach came out this past week. She wrote Dinner: A Love Story and I adore her. I haven’t had a chance to really dig into the book yet but it’s just as lovely as DALS.

New Books on my E-Reader: Someone needs to take Amazon one-click away from me. Thankfully I’ve had some gift cards to blow through lately. Last week I picked up Catastrophic Happiness (a motherhood memoir) and The Secret Keeper (for book club). I also recently got the ebook copy of Lonesome Dove since I have the beast of a hardcover on my shelf and that’s just not gonna happen. Pst…who wants to read Lonesome Dove with me? I’m thinking November.

Books on the Nightstand: Lots of cookbooks! I’m taking the leap into Once a Month Cooking next month so have been doing lots of research. I’m also about 50% of the way through Germinal by Émile Zola, but I have to set it aside to read The Secret Keeper.

(Amazon links are affiliate so I receive a small small commission if you make a purchase through your clicky clicky. Thank you for the support to help keep this blog afloat!)

 

What’s going on in your neck of the woods today? Curled up with a good book?

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A Freezer Full of Salmon

Posted 23 September, 2016 by Trish in In the Kitchen / 24 Comments

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salmon

 

I currently have a freezer full of salmon.

We aren’t big fish eaters. I like just fine but the other three eaters in my house don’t care for it. Last year I think I cooked salmon three times and it was a fight to get the girls to eat every bite. I’ve never cooked other kinds of fish. Gasp!!

So when my brother-in-law told me that he was going on a fishing trip to Alaska and that he’d bring me back some salmon, I gave him a very blank stare. Sure enough, I came home one day to a freezer full of salmon fillets (to be fair, he’s also storing his portion at our house).

Yesterday I decided it was time to bite the bullet and prepare salmon for dinner. I love salmon (despite my earlier comments about liking fish “just fine”), but I also wasn’t in the mood for dinnertime fighting and nagging. But with a freezer full of salmon, the girls better get used to the idea of eating fish more often. Plus I know that it’s amazingly healthful.

As I pulled the fish out of the packet to marinade it, Elle immediately started talking about how gross it was. Ha! I let her touch the skin, which she loved, and talked about what part of the fish the fillet came from. By this point, she was a little more on board. When it came time to actually sit down and eat, I was surprised at how willingly she ate everything on her plate–salmon first. The last time I cooked salmon was not so easy.

Evie took a little more convincing–she is going through that stage–but by the end of dinner she had eaten all of her salmon if nothing else. It was seriously a dinnertime success where I thought we would have fussing and bribing, and lots of exasperated sighs from my direction.

I took the below picture with the tiny amount of leftovers we had. The piece is about 2 inches big. I’d call that a success! Recipe is from Budget Bytes cookbook (also online).

salmon-and-rice

Really the point of this post is not that I have a freezer full of salmon. I’ve brought you this far because I need to crowdsource ideas on what to do with all of this salmon!

I have a few ideas–I’m dying to try some salmon cakes (though most recipes call for canned salmon) and my friend Katie shared this Buzzfeed post on four ways to cook salmon. There’s the way that I normally prepare salmon, but I’m looking for fun and different ideas. Maybe smoked in Scott’s new smoker!

What else? What else? Please share your favorite salmon recipes with me!

And if you feel so inclined…come on over for dinner.

 

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Linking up with:

weekend cookingEvery weekend, Beth Fish Reads hosts Weekend Cooking.  “Weekend Cooking is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, fabulous quotations, photographs.”  Hope you’ll join the fun!

 

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Tuesday Snoozeday Rambles

Posted 20 September, 2016 by Trish in Life / 8 Comments

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Today’s Top Ten Tuesday is an audio freebie and I thought about sharing some of my favorite albums when I was in high school (hello Counting Crows and Tori Amos) or albums that I’ve bought recently rather than just the single (Lumineers and Hozier).

But you know what? I just feel like rambling on a bit about the goings on in life lately. Y’all don’t mind do you?

Remember when Elle used to call Taco Tuesday “Taco Snoozeday”–that was funny. Incidentally, we are having tacos tonight! Tacos have become a favorite at our house. I love them because they’re SO easy to make. Easy is my favorite.

make-ahead-meals

 

I have a stack of library books checked out for meal planning or bulk cooking or the such. It always boils down to that pesky little truth that you have to make time to save time. The struggle is real! On Sunday I’m usually so worn out from the weekend that the last thing I want to do is prep a bunch of food for the upcoming week. But I know that it would pay off in the end and I would likely eat healthier, too. Do you prep ahead for the week?

I did make taco meat last night while I was cooking our regular dinner so tonight all I have to do is make some rice and bake the taco shells. Winning! Good thing, too, as Tuesday is likely our busiest day with Evie doing dance class. It’s as hilarious as you might think it is. This girl. I just laugh and laugh and laugh when she’s around. And do a fair amount of eyerolling as well. Trouble is that she knows she has us all wrapped around her teeny tiny little fingers.

eve-1

 

Speaking of library books, I also picked up Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I can’t remember what prompted me to take the leap and check the book out, but it was a very quick read and one that basically reaffirmed some of my fundamental beliefs on money. Especially: don’t spend more than you have coming in. Always easier said than done, right?

I found Ramsey’s writing to be incredibly annoying and repetitive, but for all that I skimmed I feel I can put together a solid plan for our household going forward. Money is such a touchy and taboo subject so I don’t know if I’ll talk about this one in any more detail on the blog (ha! like I’ve actually been writing about the books I’ve read lately), but the book gave me some food for thought and I’ve been working hard on an actual budget. Or at least I plan to work hard on a budget as soon as I’m done with this post. I hate budgeting. Do you have any budgeting tips or tricks?

 

care-1

Maybe I should call this post the Segue post. Snoozeday. For months Cara has been waking up on average 2 times a night. I’ll nurse her and she goes right back down. No problem. But the past two Sundays in a row she’s woken up at 11:30 and not gone back to bed until 2:30. I try nursing her, rocking her, letting her cry it out. It’s brutal brutal brutal and I’m not sure what the fix is. The good news is last week she slept every other day all the way through. Fingers crossed she does that again this week?

And I don’t know why there are so many poptart boxes in the picture above. Stop judging. Cleaning out the pantry is one of the things that has fallen way way way to the wayside with me back at work everyday.

 

jell-1

Elle is loving Kindergarten. Loving it! I’ve also enjoyed picking her up a little earlier and having a bit of time with just her. The days are incredibly busy, though. We’ve started a few activities and by the time we get home it’s a rush to get dinner on the table, everyone fed, the girls bathed, and in bed. I’ve had a tough time trying to figure out when to get in all the little things that I used to do when I was at home with Cara–cleaning out the pantry, organizing this and that, keeping the house in some sort of order. One day we’ll figure it out? Or perhaps just figure out how to live with the disorder. Gah!

I keep thinking that maybe one day I’ll get on top of everything and the rest will just be maintenance. But the lunches always have to be made, the dishwasher unloaded, the laundry rotated. Life will never stop or slow down. Even if I did manage to do Once a Month Cooking, I’d still be cooking to maintain. And sometimes I think I should probably let something go. Let the kids buy lunch everyday. Stop writing the blog. Get rid of all of the toys so that there is nothing in the house to create clutter. Ok, that last one is just a dream.

 

So in summary, life is busy. Happy. Cluttered. Chaotic.

Share some random rambles with me! Please!

 

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Judging a Book By Its Cover

Judging a Book By Its Cover

    One of the most ubiquitous rules of reading is Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover. Raise your hand if you don’t abide by this rule. It’s ok–it’s one that I continually break as well. As I very rarely read jacket covers or the back of a book before I start it, when I’m browsing books at the store the only thing I have to go on is the cover and perhaps word of […]

Posted 18 September, 2016 by Trish in Reading Nook / 21 Comments
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Ten Awesome Nonfiction Audiobooks

Ten Awesome Nonfiction Audiobooks

    Want to hear a secret? I love listening to nonfiction on audio. It’s my favorite way to digest the genre. The other part of this secret is that I prefer listening to nonfiction than fiction books on audio. Today’s Top Ten Tuesday (from The Broke and the Bookish) is Top Ten All Time Favorite Books of X Genre. Gah it’s so tough to break down favorites, isn’t it? I’ve shared some of my […]

Posted 13 September, 2016 by Trish in Reading Nook / 17 Comments
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A Christmas Quilt

A Christmas Quilt

    I am SO EXCITED to share these pictures of the 100% finished Christmas Quilt.  You know–the one that I started right after Elle was born? And in case you need a refresher, Elle was born in 2011. Ahem. All those years ago, I joined a year-long virtual quilting bee with my cousin, sister, and 9 other gals. Each month one member would send out fabric to the others with directions on a block (or two) […]

Posted 8 September, 2016 by Trish in Crafty / 25 Comments
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10 Bingeworthy TV Shows

10 Bingeworthy TV Shows

image credit: Paris on Ponce & Le Maison Rouge Fall is right around the corner! At least to those of you who live a little more north than I do. We’re still firmly in the 90 degree weather, but I’ve seen a handful of turned leaves pictures in the past week. You lucky ducks… With the arrival of Fall also comes new seasons of shows on TV. Truth be told, I haven’t watched a new fall […]

Posted 6 September, 2016 by Trish in Life / 28 Comments
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Most and Least Used Kitchen Items

Most and Least Used Kitchen Items

  Lately I’ve been trying to purge my house of extra clutter. Last year I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I still think about Marie Kondo’s credo of keeping the things that bring joy and letting go of the rest. I was able to apply this principle to my closet and drawers fairly easily and now maybe have too few items to wear? But when it comes to my kitchen, I have […]

Posted 2 September, 2016 by Trish in In the Kitchen / 25 Comments
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8 Month Update – 8.27.2016

8 Month Update – 8.27.2016

    And geez. Here goes my mommy guilt. Today is actually Evie’s third birthday!!! I’ll take her 3 year picture on her quilt this weekend and hopefully post it before never. Also sad is I meant I meant I meant to write up Cara’s 7m update and womp womp. I did snap the picture, but no write-up. Turns out I did the same thing for Evie’s 8m update. I guess life moves quickly and […]

Posted 31 August, 2016 by Trish in Life, Mommyhood / 9 Comments
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