I feel like I'm going through a mini identity crisis. Of course, I've been going through major life changes lately--from an individual who only had to answer to herself and a wife who helped keep a household to a mother responsible for a tiny little being. I haven't been very good about carving out time in the day for me and so when those rare moments of quiet do come I find myself wandering around the house aimlessly. Do I read? Do I scrapbook? Do I quilt? Do I exercise? Do I blog? Do I just lie on the couch and decompress? Usually I just stand around with a blank stare until it's time for me to do mom things again.
The bottom line is that I need to start focusing on allowing myself ME time. Time to get back to the things that I enjoy doing--even if just for a few minutes here and there. That includes writing...or more accurately blogging.
The struggle that I have with blogging is the same guilt I've been wracked with for the past year plus--too much personal blogging for an audience who is made up mostly of book bloggers. And I know--this guilt is totally self-inflicted, but after the past couple of posts I've written I've lost followers here and there and it's hard for me to ignore that (even though I'm sure they weren't followers that mattered).
So, a little disclaimer: I am officially declaring myself Just a Blogger.
Glad to have that off my chest. And many of you have expressed here or elsewhere that you exclusively read book blogs and trust me, I understand. I won't take offense if my blogging is no longer of interest. Truly, it's ok--the last thing I would want is for you to comment because you feel guilty not doing so. But I also have to be honest and realize that my interest in blogs has also changed--I still LOVE reading about books that I want to read or that I have read but the rest? Sadly book blogging as a whole seems to have evolved into something that I don't care about--the marketing of new books on the Internet.
So what does that mean for this blog? Trust me when I say I do NOT want to become a mommy blogger. On the other hand, I'm going through so many things right now that it would be nice to have an outlet--maybe a weekly or biweekly (or at the rate I'm going--monthly) post on motherhood or baby things. But there's also so many other things in life--trying to tap into the creative side with quilting, scrapping, and pictures; cooking and other household things; travel past and future; life as a whole; and when I do actually read a book I would love to write a post on my thoughts. I've always loved blogging about books, it just appears that lately I've forgotten how to do that.
And Sunday Salon. I LOVE Sunday Salon posts and really want to continue with those posts. Unfortunately my brain is too fried of late to think up any good topics, though. Could I get you guys to give me some topics?? Have thought about putting up a Google Docs form for ideas but fear all I'd receive would be chirping crickets (and I don't know how to do a google doc form).
But mostly, I just want to return to blogging. On both ends. I do skim Google Reader on occasion but rarely actually make it to the computer to leave any comments. The total number of unread posts usually looms at 1000+. Once I am done pumping at work and get my lunch break back (using that hour throughout the day to pump), it'll open up much more free time to be interactive, but until then I have to recognize my limitations.
Oh who knows guys. I guess all I really should be saying is Thank You. I know the unwritten rule about commenting when said person hasn't returned comments and I hate being that person...I think you all KNOW that about me, though. Thank you for continuing to take an interest when the bookish stuff disappeared. Thank you for your continual support and wonderful comments. I wish I could hide the follower numbers (referring to Blogger followers) because that number doesn't matter at all. I've been blessed with an active audience to my ramblings. I do realize that and I certainly don't want to take it for granted. And now I feel like a big whiner. Blerg.
Another note so that you don't find me hypocritical...if I have the time I do plan on participating in BBAW and if I'm in town I do plan on readathoning. Because even if I'm now labeling myself Just a Blogger, I'll always be a little book blogger at heart.
Alright--only took two weeks to complete this post. Guess it's time to hit publish...